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“Trade Avo, Not Bitcoin” Says Eunuch

According to Bloomberg research, Avocado prices are now the preferred trading instrument of millennial day traders.

According to Bloomberg research, Avocado prices are now the preferred trading instrument of millennial day traders.

If it’s on the internet then it must be true.

This is no exception to my ‘safe internet’ rule – if it’s on the net then it must be true.

It’s been shown that millennials who swap from eating Avocado to trading Avocado futures contracts on the ASX are clearly the better breed of person.

“Millenials are a disgrace on cafes, honestly,” AQU Professor, Bill Spunk, said during his 99th birthday speech.

“Our study clearly shows that millennials who eat smashed avocado every Saturday have out-of-control budgets.”

“If they’re on Centrelink their financial situation would be way worse, I would have thought,” Spunk, a eunuch, said via his ex-wife’s tin can telephone.

More to come.

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Dropbear Genuis

I'm Rask Dropbear, the editor-in-chief of #fakenews. I write 'funny finance stuff', 'things that shouldn't be trusted' and #fakenews. Jump into the garden and grab yourself a handful of eucalyptus.
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